Article by John Rzasa
The mother of the groom traditionally plays a support role in the wedding planning process. Today, many couples' families are splitting costs for the wedding, so her role can be more defined in the planning process. Here is what is expected of the mother of the groom.
Engagement Announcement
- Call the bride's parents to communicate your family's happiness for the couple. It is also proper to extend an invitation to dinner.
- Introduce the bride to your side of the family at a dinner or other family get-together.
- Co-host an engagement party with the bride's parents for the couple.
Planning Period
- Know what wedding expenses are expected of your family.
- Offer to be a point of contact, if the couple is to be married in your town.
- Offer to help scout locations for the wedding and reception.
- Put together a list of the groom's family and contact information, after you receive a number of guests from the bride and groom.
- Purchase a gift and go to the bridal shower.
- Talk to the bride's mother about what she will wear and purchase your outfit about four to six months before the wedding.
- Keep track of RSVPs on invitations.
- Offer to call anyone on your side of the family who has not responded three to four weeks before the big day.
- Let the groom's side of the list know where the couple is registered.
- Plan the rehearsal dinner at least six months before the wedding. The dinner is hosted the day before the wedding.
At the Wedding
- Take your place in the receiving line after the bride and groom (with the groom's father) at the reception.
- Sit at the parent's table.
- Dance with your son in the mother/son dance.
What to Do When There Isn't a Mother of the Groom
Choose a close, female relative or old family friend to assume this role. She can be a grandmother, aunt, sister or other woman important to the groom. This person should be asked to assume this role, and she should be consulted just as if she were the groom's mother.
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